United We Drag – The United Airlines Disaster


Photo courtesy of Unilad

By Kurt-Lee David

As conflicts heat up in Syria and North Korea all the mainstream newspapers can seem to talk about is the recent United Airlines fiasco. A passenger, David Dao was forcibly dragged off a United Airlines’ plane right before departure. Social media has reacted by again turning into a feeding frenzy. Every day there seems to be a new angle shot on a dodgy camera phone and new details coming out about Dao’s past. Just today, the Washington Post grabbed at straws when they reported someone’s desperate story that they encountered a scorpion on a United Airlines’ flight on the same day as Dao’s incident. Worldwide boycotts of United Airlines have occurred, which lasted for a few days before their stocks returned to normal. As I look deeper into this story, the more I realise that there are no heroes involved. This is a disaster in every sense of the word and no matter how you look at it, its ugliness it there for all to see.

For people not tuned in to the story it is easy to get riled up about United Airlines. Everyone has been screwed over by an airline at least once in their lives and Dao’s story lets people create that plane shaped punching bag in their minds. A narrative pushing Dao’s innocence has been making the rounds so much that even Donald Trump made a statement on the matter. Apparently Dao, a hardworking doctor, was innocently sitting there waiting for his flight. Enter United Airlines… After a corrupt deal benefitting United Airlines’ staff was done, numerous security guards set upon Dao. They proceeded to bash him brutally right in the middle of the aisle, just as over-priced drinks were being served too. He was then dragged by the feet, blood rushing down his face, right off of the plane into the closest open bin. It does not take a genius to realise that this story is complete myth.

So what did happen, in fact? It is extremely common for airlines to ‘overbook’ flights, as more often than not, numerous people do not show up. I lucked out on my last flight when my whole row decided that their family Christmas wasn’t worth it after all. Unfortunately for this flight, everyone did show up. This would have been fine if it was not for a scheduling mistake, which saw the necessary boarding of four United Airlines staff. Now, security didn’t just pounce on Dao as the news keeps reporting. United Airlines staff calmly, and regrettably notified the passengers of the situation, offering $400 compensation to place volunteers on the next available flight. This soon was upped to $1000, but still no takers raised their hands. I personally would have taken it, but these people had just gotten comfy in their rock hard plane seats, I guess. Eventually, United Airlines was forced to select four people at random to take the compensation and be placed on the next flight. This is an important bit, which changes the story completely. Three separate people calmly took the money and calmly exited the plane. Three people! How unlucky for United Airlines that they accidently chose the most unhinged customer on the plane for the fourth…

People do not end up bloodied and being dragged out by security for no reason. If you are a sensible person, these things do not happen. In fact, if you kept calm in this exact situation you would have received $1000 and be inconvenienced for a few hours until you got on the next plane, like the first three people. Dao did not do this however. Dao instead turned hysterical. In fact, the United Airlines President himself called Dao’s behaviour ‘disruptive and belligerent’. Dao is seen to say that he would ‘rather go to jail than miss my flight’ and that if they wanted to get him off the plane that they would have to ‘drag me’. Does this sound like a rational person? The confused policemen asks Dao to clarify by stating, ‘So you would rather go to jail than leave the plane calmly?’ The clips cut out, but this behaviour obviously escalated. Policemen can be heard to say, ‘Look, I am going to have to drag you out. You know how this is going to end up, right?’ This is when Dao completely loses the plot as he can be heard to be kicking and screaming like an animal. The cuts and bruises on Dao’s face are most likely caused by his own erratic movements as security guards attempted to control him.

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Photo courtesy of Next Shark

This is when things get really strange. Dao makes a break for it, running up and down the plane hysterically muttering ‘I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home’ over and over, as he dodges around seats. He can even be heard to repeat the line, ‘just kill me’. I know that we all have gotten a bit tired on plane journeys, but this is just bizarre behaviour. For all the passengers that are screaming out, ‘Oh my god! Look at what you have done!’ you were obviously not that concerned because the flight took off without Dao only a short while later with everyone on board.

I am not defending United Airlines here. They made countless stupid mistakes, all of which could have been handled in different ways to avoid this situation. I personally believe that they should not be allowed to boot simply anyone off the plane that has rightfully bought a ticket. They are legally allowed to however, as they are to forcibly escort people off of planes. People have suggested they create cheap ‘ferry-like’ transport planes for staff instead of putting them on with the public. This is logistically unrealistic though, come on. What I take issue with is exactly the same thing that happens continually with police officers. People whip out their phones after the event is nearly over, making the police’s force seem over the top. Just like the investigation into the NT jails, footage was not recorded of the prisoner spitting their Hep B infested sputum into staff faces, but only when a spit hood was forcibly put on him and he was restrained. United Airlines was useless and irresponsible and Dao was hysterical and ridiculous. There are no winners, but I am sure several court cases will say otherwise.

See above our recent sketch on the United Airlines fiasco. The Principal of Earth recently found out about it and we are all in store for a good drubbing!


VOX POP – Men’s Fashion Pet Peeves

Featuring Courtney Haze

This week we decided to venture into the field and get YOUR opinion when it comes to men’s fashion pet peeves.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of you agreed with the points we shared in our original article. 

See below a gallery of some of the beautiful people we got to interview! Thank you all so much for sparing some of your time.

Guitar Masturbation – Why I am anti-solo

Hendrix-2.jpgBy Kurt-Lee David

Follow us on Twitter: @Affected_Empire

When I was a budding guitarist (before I realised it is the single worst profession in the world) my music was continually criticised for being ‘too simple’. My craft as a whole was even questioned because I wasn’t perhaps as knowledgeable as your average music aficionado. I specifically remember someone saying, “If you do not know the theory behind what you are playing, are you really a musician or are you simply a copier?” When I questioned further about what I was supposed to be then, I was met with tired examples like Jimi Hendrix, Chuck Berry or BB King. Guitar porn like the album Band of Gypsies, which is basically like an hour-long solo, were constantly held up as the be all and end all of music. I gave up on playing music because I became disenchanted with my instrument and the songs I was playing. I could never wail out a screamer like Van Halen, so what was the point in calling myself a ‘guitarist’ anyway?

As I have grown older I do not regret leaving the music industry in any way whatsoever. I am onto bigger and better things while my critics are still playing cover gigs at the local tavern for spare change. However, upon reflection I have come to realise that the notion of the ‘guitar solo’, or any solo for that matter, is one that is masked in egocentric bullshit. Either that or it is masking crippling insecurities. It is the equivalent of pages and pages of wanky description in a book, a used tampon in a teacup in art or a black and white student film in movies. Recently I attended a Cat Empire concert as I quite enjoyed their most recent album. Little did I know that I should have simply stayed home, because I actually got to hear very little of the songs I was smashing out in my car. Every song was milked for at least fifteen minutes as each member took turns masturbating on their instrument until the song was dead and buried. The vocalist noticed the disappointment on some of the fan’s faces, which led him to say, “If you are a fan of us and you came here to hear your favourite songs, that’s awesome, but ‘this’… THIS IS WHAT WE DO!”, referring to the cacophony of musical arrogance we had just been witness to. Fuck us for going to see a band to hear their songs, right?

I have seen enough episodes of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares to notice that if any product is specifically marketed to snobs, that is who you end up selling to and no one else. What is the point of solo-centric music if it is only wankers in berets that like it? To be honest, Band of Gypsies bores the hell out of me, as does Free Bird after thirty seconds. Hendrix only has two good songs and BB King is near impossible to listen to. I can obtain all I need to know about your instrumental efficiency in a few seconds. Anything longer than that and I’m bored out of my skull.

I am not alone either! When was the last time these so called ‘guitar gods’ were in the charts for anything? The average person can easily go through their whole life without hearing names like Joe Satriani or Yngwie Malmsteen. Even Santana needed the help of other artists to make an impact.

Ultimately, solos are like wine. Anyone that says they are really into them are either simply lying to impress people or are borderline autistic about their instrument to the extent that they can’t relate to anyone else about it. For example, I love football, but if you delve deep into the most obscure statistics about a player, you’ve lost me.You may point to me as being a simpleton or ignorant and that I don’t ‘understand what I am hearing’. But I counter that argument by saying, if a simpleton like me can’t access your music, what is the point of it? If you really want to make niche music for a miniscule audience, fine, but I have always believed that music is meant to bring people together. There is enough posturing elitism in the music industry already. Let’s not add to it.


Top 8 Male Fashion Mistakes

By Kurt-Lee David

As millennials continually chuck out tradition, I am seeing a disturbing trend amongst men my age. Flattering, fitting, good-looking clothes are nowhere to be seen. We look like a gaggle of cross-eyed losers that have been dressed by their incontinent mothers. Actually, our mothers could probably dress us better than the crap we continually churn out. Here are the biggest mistakes I keep on seeing. These eight fashion faux pas are causing me to prematurely age, while at the same time, drying up any woman that come into contact with them. Men, do yourselves a favour…

1. Wear clothes that fit!

I feel like putting this on the list should be redundant, which is why it saddens me to pencil it in at number one. It should be a given, but the days of homosexual tailors measuring your inner thigh are long gone. In fact, even the notion of a ‘change room’ seems to be utterly confusing to the modern gentleman, or should I say, dork meister. I keep seeing extra fabric continually blowing around my head, endlessly mocking me like schizophrenic voices. If we reduced the amount of extra clothing of young men these days by half, we would have enough fabric to clothe the third world five times over. Little Kali may have dirty drinking water, but it wouldn’t seem so bad if he had a cool hipster cardigan, cut from the lame, skinny body of some douche bag. Gents, when you are buying clothes, grab two or three sizes and actually try them on. Preferably get a second opinion from either a friend/partner or at least the effeminate Indian shop assistant with the diamond ear stud that won’t leave you alone. This is number one because it’s the easiest. It should be pretty straightforward.

2. Do not wear shorts!

No grown man should ever wear shorts. Shorts are for little children and not much else. That is why in school, when you finally claw your way to the senior grades you get the big boy pants. In Africa, if a grown man wore shorts they would be ostracised from the family like a peadophile with leprosy. Speaking of peadophiles, if you want to perfect the ‘toddler playing with their trucks’ look, shorts may be for you. Go for the cargo short addition for the school shooter flavour, perfectly matched with an ugly, popped collar polo shirt. The only excuse to wear shorts might be the beach or anything physically active, like boxing. Even then, go for something fashionable and designer. You want to look like 007 coming out of the water in Casino Royale, not the player/coach/manager of the private school chess club.

3. If you cannot grow facial hair, do not grow facial hair!

This is serious stuff, guys. Hipster culture has single-handedly destroyed the male jaw line. Everyone is trying to grow out their prepubescent facial pubes, making them look like they covered the face in glue stick and gone down on Susan Boyle. It is safe to say that if you are not Irish, Scottish or Middle Eastern in decent, you should not even attempt facial hair until you’re a grandfather. Unless you live in Ipswich, because you’re probably a grandfather by the time you’re eighteen. I have accepted the fact that my face will always be about as hipster as an Osmond’s. If I want to grow a 1×1 inch patch of neck beard, I’m set, but since I want to be respected by literally anyone, I shave it off ever one to two days. A clean-cut chin combined with a neat haircut is sufficient to rock for about thirty years. Speaking of haircuts…

4. Use some form of hair product!

This is not the 1970s.You cannot get away with big, bushy ‘Jew-frows’ or limp, serial killer bowl cuts anymore. It is time to use any, literally any, form of hair product. Something is better than nothing, but if you can, find a nice pomade. If not, Brylcreem is tried and true and is a few dollars from any supermarket. Ideally, find a celebrity with your hair type and find out what product they use. They are usually being sponsored by Uppercut or something like that, so just google their name with ‘hair product’. There you go. Easy. If you rock up to work or University looking like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber, everyone will assume you don’t care about your appearance. Woman will jump to the conclusion that if you cannot spare a few minutes in the morning to do your hair, than your whole life must be a mess. Frankly, they’re probably right too. Girls want to run their fingers through your hair and smell a nice wax, not the grease from your dandruff.

5. No logos, slogans or funny quips!

You are your own brand. Every day you should be out marketing yourself to friends, employers and woman. By wearing a childish joke shirt that’s about your dick or something, the only one that is looking like a prick is you. On a side note, it is incredibly hard to pull off a t-shirt unless you have shoulders like Dwight Howard. By wearing a big Nike tick you are sub-consciously saying that you are subservient to these companies and that you need their help to impress. You may point to Lebron James who is always covered head to toe in sponsors, but guess what, I have given away the answer to that phenomenon already. Can you guess it? ‘Sponsors’. He is getting paid millions to even wipe his ass with a Adidas towel. You are getting diddly squat to look like a diddly dick.

6. Do not neglect footwear!

Men, no one wants to see your toes. No one wants to see your disgusting, in-grown ‘naily’ foot stubs. I am sick of seeing those ‘cheese nubs’ wiggle around in front of me on the train, on the bus, at the shop and underneath the table. Put them the fuck away. Our feet are not like women’s feet. Women can flaunt their’s because their bodies are like a work of art. My feet are a disaster zone. I have oily, black hairs sporadically boring out of my waxy skin like electrical wires, every toenail is ingrown, I most likely have a build up of orange foot cheese and my ankles are red and raw with weeping blisters. The last thing I want to do is show them off with an equally cruddy pair of cheap thongs or sour hippy sandals. The absolute worst abomination on the face of the earth is the ‘shower thong’ with the big velcro flap. Nothing about these sinful flip-flops is flattering. The probable amount of festering bacteria thriving in between those stupid massage dots is enough to make me dry heave. Their society is most likely doing better than ours. They have gone through millions of years of little germ revolutions and evolutions. They have tried communism and socialism but now they’re onto little germ capitalism and the strongest germs are thriving between your toes. It is only a matter of time before there is a full-blown Civil War between the south heel germs and north toe germs. Chuck those thongs out before they unify and start taking over the other shoes in your closet.

I am chucking the rest of this list out because nothing can top the last rule. If nothing else, please keep your feet covered. It can easily ruin any outfit, no matter how perfect. Out of any political or social movement, I believe in improving male fashion sense more than anything. If all men started to dress better, it would fix many of our problems.


Keeping Up With the Cucks – The Pepsi Ad Disaster


Photo courtesy of TV Line

By Albino Ando

This week has just revealed how many shades of censorship Australia and other western countries are adding to their PC swatch chart.

Things that have happened this week include, the cancelling of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s speaking engagements (quite upsetting as I was not only to attend but I was also supposed to meet the woman herself), an event which is beginning to shed light on the revolting censorship in this country, and also the pulling of a Pepsi commercial starring reality television star Kendall Jenner.

Granted the ad is a bit stupid and the average person wouldn’t think much of it, however it seemed like something that once upon a time you saw, maybe cringed a bit while watching and then shrugged off as you continued to go on with your life. But no, not in this day and age of so-called “progressive” values.

The synopsis of the video is that a plethora of people are marching down the street in what we assume is protest and a made up blonde-wig-wearing Kendall is watching from a building. Then a young protester beckons Jenner to come and join. Jenner then whips off her wig, wipes off her lipstick and joins the protest. Among Jenner are young people of all different ethnicities and faiths enjoying the protest. The commercial concludes with Jenner giving a can of Pepsi to a police officer who then smiles and the crowd cheers. The commercial concludes with Pepsi’s “live for now” slogan.

Wow that sounds like a nice thing to aspire to? People of all walks of life enjoying themselves in harmony, right? WRONG!

So the young audience Pepsi was targeting did not react in the way they had planned…

12345And my personal favourite…


How did a seemingly boring, stock standard idea for a commercial turn into “this celebrity is trying so hard to be controversial and use our issues for their commercial gain”? So when Beyoncé, who is African-American, dressed her dancers up like the Black Panthers at the Super bowl that was OK? She relates to the lower class black struggle even though her six figure-earning father gave up his career to make her a superstar by age 16! Also, in her own words, she drove a jaguar and went to private school. As well as being one of the richest women in Hollywood married to one of the richest men in Hollywood. Oh, and he’s black too. That isn’t exploiting current political issues for her own gain?

Pepsi almost immediately after pulled the ad from circulation and publicly apologised to the offended and to Kendall herself.

The ad also attracted attention from Black Lives Matter member DeRay McKesson, who was quoted saying,

“I was arrested in Baton Rouge, I was arrested in St. Louis, been in the street tear gassed at so many places, and a can of Pepsi would not change that”.

“[This ad] made protests seem like it was this fun thing that people did in the street as opposed to a fight against injustice and making sure our voices were heard,”

With the fact that Black Lives Matter has accomplished nothing the people may as well be, DeRay.

This is proof of what the ridiculous feminists, social justice warriors and other regressive leftists do. They make something trivial a civil rights issue so they can protest about it (often to get media attention for themselves), then when they get their way as they did here by getting Pepsi to remove the commercial, they appear brave to biased media.

However, let’s get to some deeper issues, shall we? Let’s actually address hardship amongst African-Americans in debate. Take the one with Ben Shapiro discussing these issues with members from the movement (one whom is a member of the NAACP) for example. Real issues were brought up and proper questions were asked. “Why are so many Black teenagers dropping out of school? Why is the crime rate amongst African-Americans is so high?” The Black Lives Matter supporting side of the panel had no answer…. Why is it that not answering the uncomfortable question is more important than reaching your goal? The goal you claim to want to achieve on CNN and on YouTube.

Muslim women in Australia said they wanted to debate Ayaan Hirsi Ali but how could they when members of the Islamic community prevented her from speaking?

They claimed a lot of what she says is rooted in misogyny and stereotypes but how can Ayaan Hirsi Ali be a misogynist or ignorant when she has an organisation to help Muslim girls? Did they say anything about Muslim boys being able to refuse to shake hands with their teachers or a Muslim man saying on national television that, “hitting your wife is last resort?” Those are rejections of western society being perpetuated by their own community but alas it’s much easier to criticise an outsider than one of your own.

Had Pepsi kept the commercial up a conversation would have begun, the conversation Black Lives Matter claim they want to begin, however it was easier to not hurt people’s feelings. Naturally Pepsi also want to keep their sales up and avoid boycotts.

It’s a shame that instead of caring about the actual education, health and well being of African-Americans, women, immigrants, Muslims and the LGBT community a lot of commentators care more about the percentage of supposed victimhood they have to their name and how many times they can divert the attention away from the behaviour the supposedly oppressed communities are partaking in that is the reason for their struggle.

This is the fear the left has, ‘self-criticism’, whether it be crime in the African-American or Muslim refugee communities. There is never any kind of acknowledgement of one’s own wrong doing. That’s a pretty common thing to come across in many facets of life, however when you constantly point out other’s wrong doings but fail to notice your own it’s not mature, classy nor is it progressive. Look at Salon Magazine, white people have to answer for the Charleston Massacre but the Pulse nightclub shooting had nothing to do with Islam. Al Jazeera (funded by the Qatari government) constantly criticise Trump’s attitudes to Syrian refugees when Qatar has taken in barely, if any refugees themselves

If a small group of a certain minority are consulted on every media portrayal or piece of art that may affect them, are the issues that minority may be facing dissipate? I don’t know about you but I doubt that anyone in that Pepsi commercial has had a major turnaround of their lifestyle, or families living in gang-ridden neighbourhoods in Chicago are doing any better. I doubt that equal gender representation on traffic lights have led to any progress in women’s rights. Just ask the young women around the world who are lying down with their legs bound and bleeding profusely due to female genital mutilation.



Mem Fox comes up with another story – U.S immigration myth debunked


Photo courtesy of the Daily Telegraph

By Kurt-Lee David

The story of Australian children’s author Mem Fox’s (can we just call her Merrion already?) experience with U.S immigration has been beaten to death more than a baby seal during winter. Ironically that is how Fox has depicted herself, recently stating that the way she was supposedly treated was like “shooting the tooth fairy”. If that is what the tooth fairy looks like I will be telling my children to shove them back into their head as quickly as they fell out. Mem Fox’s story has snowballed so much that even now the general consensus is that this dithery old woman was basically strip searched and blasted with ice cold fire hoses.

The ABC institution Q&A recently stoked this fire by having Fox on as a guest panelist to capitulate her sob story, soaked with contradictions, hypocrisy and lies. Like with most stories about post-Trump America, if you ignore the liberal narrative and actually look at the facts, you can easily see that this is all one big, frothy-mouthed media frenzy. If you looked at what happened to Fox, from the horse’s mouth as well, you can see that this is simply a case of self-indulgence. The whole thing reminds me of a drunk, cross-eyed friend rambling on about this ‘crazy thing’ that happened to them down at Coles. Little do they know you were actually there as well and saw the whole thing. You can easily tell how a normal guy in a sweatshirt became a ‘7’ foot giant with a scar over one eye’, how a quick glance became a ‘death stare’, how two hands going for the same loaf of bread turned into ‘the beast ripping it from my grasp and shoving me away’ and how a muttered apology became a ‘yelling obscenity’.

Mem Fox was standing in line at the airport, but was pulled aside by immigration. The first example of her self-indulgence can be seen in this very first line of her article. I was pulled aside, “not because I was Mem Fox – the writer – nobody knew that – I was just a normal person like anybody else.” Fox was pulled aside because she was on a tourist VISA but was obviously working in the States. She was in fact on an all expenses paid speaking tour about her books, her sole career. That sounds like work to me and I have no problem in immigration questioning people on suspicious VISAs, especially in the United States, where currently there is an all-out war on terror. This is unacceptable however, because she is ‘Mem Fox – the writer’, not a ‘normal person like anybody else’. How dare this happen to me? Egocentrism abounds…

This is obviously when the strip-searching begins, right? Surely there was least some good old-fashioned water boarding? I am sorry to disappoint, but none of this happened, not even some electric clasps to the nipples. Fox was taken into a waiting room for under two hours and was actually interviewed for only fifteen minutes… For those of us used to holding on Centrelink for eternities or setting up campsites at Medicare, this comes as no shock. To ‘Mem Fox – the writer’ however, this would have messed with her system to no end. Anything less than being briskly escorted through security on a gold carriage carried by a dozen half-naked servants is mind blowing, which is why she states she started getting so irrationally emotional.

Mem Fox – the writer – mentions the alleged ‘living hell’ that was the waiting room. Again, for those of us that are used to it, waiting rooms are not exactly The Ritz. I personally feel more sorry for the workers. Imagine having to deal with inept people all day that cannot even choose the right VISA, working in a grey, boring room till five o’clock. Torture… It makes me faint even thinking about it. Mem Fox – the writer- describes the ‘horrifying’ ways in which people were being treated, making customs sound more like a scene from Hostel than a dreary airport back room. Examples included an elderly Middle Eastern woman being asked what language she spoke. The officers were asking, “Arabic?” to her repeatedly. Surely a Middle Eastern person would understand the word ‘Arabic’, and to be met with a blank stare every time when you are simply trying to communicate could easily lead to some level of frustration. Another example was a Taiwanese lady being asked what her primary source of income was, obviously having a similar issue to Mem Fox – the writer. The officer supposedly asked, “Where does your money come from? It does not fall from the sky? It does not grow on trees?” For the officer to be using such casual English, surely the lady’s understanding of the language must have previously proven to be adequate for him to do so. For a suspicious person coming from a lower socio-economic area such as Taiwan, again I have no problem with immigration being firm. The phenomenon of the ‘anchor baby’ is rife throughout the States and there may have had suitable reasons to believe that this person was attempting to enter the country illegally. These two problems are common and don’t exactly bring my blood to the boil.

Mem Fox – the writer- mentions how there were not any toilets or drinking fountains. You were there for well under two hours and only interviewed for fifteen minutes, were you not? How parched could you possibly get in that amount of time? Did you even ask to go to the bathroom? No, in fact the only thing Mem Fox – the writer – did was read a book, showing that she obviously was not as frantic as she makes out. If you are ‘nearly fainting’ in terror, the last thing you do is whip out a Penguin Classic and dive right in. In fact, when the officer called her name, she was so lost in her own little world she had no idea where to go, who was talking to her or what was happening. This lead to another complaint coming from the guilty party as an officer said to her, ‘No, not there. Here.” Fox’s response was simply to hold up the book she was reading and state that she was “so lost in it”. This officer is simply trying to sort out what is going on with Fox’s VISA. Like she said, there were over twenty people waiting to be questioned also. They cannot afford to indulge in pleasantries. This is why I have no issue in the officer saying, “Well, what do you expect me to do? Just stand here until you finish it?”

This brings us to the actual interview, itself. This surely is the bad bit, right? I mean, Mem Fox – the writer- even said that afterwards she ‘sobbed like a baby’. What could they have possibly have done? Well, it turns out the officers were simply trying to complete their task. They asked her where her income came from and how much money she made. Simple, standard questioning for someone who says they are not working on their trip, but obviously are. In fact, Fox breezes over this segment in her article. The only thing she does mention is her own self-importance. She states that she ‘only wishes she could open up her bag and show the officers her books’, the only goal being to separate herself from these ‘normal people’ around her, who she was supposedly so concerned with only a few minutes ago. Surely the officers would treat her differently if they knew she was ‘Mem Fox – the writer’. Fox proceeded to bring out her books, obviously shoving them in the officer’s face, which lead him to say, “I know… I can read.” This opportunity to plug her upcoming book did not pass Fox by though, as she spends a great deal of her article painting herself as a maternal saint, even though her husband was found guilty of child sex crimes.

Her goal of receiving special treatment was eventually achieved when one of the officer’s finally realised one of her books was given to Prince George as an official Australian gift. When this was found out the officer outstretched his hand and stated that it was a “pleasure to meet” Mem Fox – the writer. So what is Fox’s reaction after finally getting what she wanted? To be ‘close to collapse’ and ‘very close to fainting’, stating that this small token of acknowledgement and apology was “the creepiest thing of all”. This proves that all she wants is to have a winge. There is no winning. There is no appeasing this attention seeker.

Perhaps the most satisfying thing from this story is the obvious lackluster reaction she received from her friends and fans. On Q&A she had a go at people calling her “precious” and to “get over it”. Even one of her friends said, “Yeah, the same thing has happened to me. It’s not that bad. Just move on.” To reply to this, Mem Fox is still trotting this fairy tale out. This event happened months ago, but just a few days ago Fox was seen deploring Trump, criticising the immigration service and even bagging out The United States in general. She does not get met with backlash however. Fox does not get called out for fabricating such an obviously fake story. We rally behind her and all have a winge about it together in a public forum. There seems to be no authenticity in the media anymore. We will gladly share in recreational outrage over something that did not happen. How are we supposed to more forward as a society when we can’t even tell what is real anymore? We can only focus on genuine issues and share outrage about real things when we remove the cereal boxes out from the privileged feet of people like Mem Fox – the writer.